Parasocial relationships are defined as being in ‘a one-sided relationship that a media user engages in with a media persona’. A parasocial relationship could be something as simple as thinking that a certain social media influencer could hypothetically be a good friend, to believing that you are in an actual relationship (whether this be platonic or romantic) with someone online; usually a celebrity or someone with a massive following.
The pandemic lead to a massive increase in the amount of time we spend online, which in turn lead to developments in relationships outside of standard social norms, termed ‘parasocial relationships’.
During the last two years, particularly under the pressures of lockdown, I found myself becoming more attached to characters from books and shows, and at some point, wondering if this would have a negative impact on my mental health in the long term.
Firstly, let us discuss why and how we form parasocial relationships.
According to the Psychologist McCutcheon’s Absorption-Addiction Model, people use parasocial relationships to make up the difference for inadequacies in life such as difficulty forming close relationships, poor psychological adaptation, and a loss of identity. The pandemic arguably did contribute to a lot of these feelings of inadequateness from many people, which possibly explains the reason behind the sudden increase in parasocial relationships.
On one hand, it is important to understand that there are positive aspects of the existence of parasocial relationships. For example, Rax King, a writer and poet, has said that she used parasocial relationships ‘to work out my own issues and my own thoughts’ concerning her parasocial relationship with Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne Johnson, as many of you are sure to know, is a famous actor and professional wrestler. The fact that his work as an actor/wrestler could help someone cope with the stress of daily life; be that by providing light entertainment or inspiration for one’s own career, shows how parasocial relationships can have a positive effect in motivating people and allowing them to grow themselves.
The pandemic caused extreme stress for most people and increased the amount of mental health issues across the world, so using parasocial relationships as a coping mechanism makes sense, especially because we were all stuck at home and had a lot more time to spare online.
Studies have also found that using diversity in popular children shows increases the likelihood of more children forming attachments to these characters, but is also beneficial in helping the children feel safe and comfortable. It also improves children’s ability of personification and social realism over extended periods of time. So, forming less serious parasocial relationships from a young age is not as harmful as you might initially believe.
But what are the downsides to parasocial relationships?
People who are too invested in parasocial relationships are likely to lose their sense of self identity, and this can often lead to addictive tendencies and obsessive behaviour such as stalking.
Sasaengs are a major problem in South Korea, engaging in extreme behaviour to leave any sort of impression on their idols, whether this be positive or negative. Some examples of this behaviour include hounding celebrities for their phone numbers and then excessively calling them, writing disturbing letters, or waiting outside sites just to catch a glimpse of the celebrities.
In conclusion, I believe it is possible for people to form healthy parasocial relationships, as long as they are aware that they have people around them who they can depend on for emotional support instead of over relying on media personas and the like. Being overly fixated on personas that are likely created to prey on more emotionally vulnerable people is dangerous, especially in the long term if an individual is beginning to become frustrated with the lack of response.
It’s quite easy to tell when a parasocial relationship is becoming more harmful than beneficial, and there are plenty of ways to start dissociating from these relationships, like making sure you have limited screen time! Try to surround yourself with friends from school, work, clubs etc, and make sure you’re not too invested in what goes on in the digital world.
By Rukaiyya Anas